it just got worse
Catch me here
  • Home
  • Life
    • Arrested in aisle eight
    • Class war, doggy style
    • Stepping around the bovines
    • I'm up to two idiots
    • The day my pants stood still
    • I tried not to be Jewish
    • Mexican standoff at the phone directory
    • Banana at the wheel
    • Calling all weirdos
    • Utterly confused by Judaism
    • Attack of the transphobic loo
  • Love
    • Cat Power sings to Saturn
    • Speed dating at 45kph
    • My Valentine, be me
    • I was the ugliest girl
    • My nanna’s surfing the after-life
    • I wanted a pretty dress
    • I kissed a postie
    • In the Valley of the Vulva
  • Sick
    • Mad at five-eighty
    • Stimulation on mum's loo
    • Coming out as carnivore
    • Banned from visiting my mum
  • Kids
    • The Toddler Terminator
    • Flying with a wedge of plastic up your arse
    • Bob the 'death metal' Builder
    • A good financial return on children
  • Work
    • Why bakers love SpongeBob SquarePants
    • A car mechanic rebuilt my website
    • 'Sexy corner' bites into online sales
    • New air fragrance sprays shelves
    • Popping the office cork
    • Making the Russian women smile
    • Free-range charcoal chicken
    • Poo tastings
    • I walked along the river
    • A car mechanic worked my gender
  • World
    • North Korea's hair to the throne
    • Did Hitler hate chairs?
    • Abacus v2.0
    • 'Horrific scenes' at Sydney airport: Man arrested
    • Zoo gets new baby animal: ‘Wormy’
    • Poofter-bashers Inc.
  • Arts
    • Digital ads
    • Posters
    • Back when my music was hard-core
    • Dorothy - cult leader, sadist, bully
    • Fat-heads and short-arses
    • New release movies >
      • Rabbi-Proof-Fence
      • Compound Joe
      • They Came From Sally
      • Connect >
        • 2018 birthday
        • About someone
        • About Bill Murray
        • Zoo gets new baby animal: ‘Wormy’
        • Subscribe
        • Get in touch
    • Breaking bad English
    • C is for comms
  • Supers
    • Pants Girl: A seriously sensible superhero
    • Z is for Zoidberg

Pants Girl: A seriously sensible superhero

Picture
Tired of seeing female superheroes in skimpy outfits, Sarah Bulovski set out to fight crime in comfortable slacks.

Like Peter Parker, Sarah Bulovski was the unpopular girl at school. A high achiever, she spent her free time either in Judo classes or drawing illustrations of superheroes she’d like to see.

Forever frustrated at how female superheroes always wear revealing costumes, she invented a heroine in more sensible attire

At the end-of-year school social, Sarah is stood up by a geeky boy. Walking home alone at night, she is accosted by four drunk men. They pin her down, but using her Judo skills, she amazingly leaves them bloody and beaten.

Back home, pulling out her deceased grandmother’s sewing machine, Sarah creates a two-piece costume with PG emblazoned on the chest. With a slim mask over her eyes, in a sensible yet striking maroon ensemble, Sarah Bulovski has become Pants Girl.

The next day, the news headlines reveal a spate of crimes being committed by a fiend by the name of The Coolant, a sinister fellow who uses a spray that practically freezes people in a chill air while he steals from the city’s top banks.

Using her investigative skills, Sarah learns that The Coolant is stealing money in order to finance a massive spray that will turn the entire world into a perpetual winter, so that humanity is close to frozen and he can control the planet.

The Coolant is planning one final heist: the largest bank in the city. As he sprays his evil coolant at his victims, he laughs as he sees several other female superheroes frozen to the spot in their skimpy suits.

But not Pants Girl, who is kept at such a stable temperature that she is able to continue moving around, albeit slowly. But slowly is enough, for The Coolant is so cocky that he fails to notice a slow-moving superhero in his midst.

She is able to creep up on him and spray him with his own malicious weapon, rendering him frustratingly frozen.

As he slowly freezes, she turns to him and declares, “You’ll find I wear the pants in this city, so don’t sweat your boots Coolant. Count your assets frozen!”

Later that night in her bedroom she starts drafting better lines.






Picture
Pants Girl never loses her cool




NEWSLETTER

Subscribe for free here


MORE FROM SUPERS

Z is for Zoidberg



Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.