My Valentine, be me 4 Dec 2012
I broke up with my wife. Five minutes later, I met the man of my dreams.
Talk about a rebound relationship. I must have been desperate.
I'm not gay, but this guy is amazing. I've kind of known him for years now – feels like forever – yet I guess I just never saw him as anything other than a friend.
Like me, he's fresh out of a long-term relationship. But we’re perfectly matched: same physique, identical hair colour, same interests. We’re even compatible on values and politics.
That said, he can offer me things I don't have. He's much more confident than me. He does these amazing push-ups and crunches. And he undoes an extra shirt button, showing just that little bit of chest hair. God he turns me on.
So who is this lover boy? Well, of course, it's me.
We spend almost every free moment together. I never knew how much fun I was to just hang out with. Sometimes we just sit on the couch in silence. It's like we've moved beyond the need for words. We could talk, or not talk, for hours.
We have done the usual things that new lovers do. We eat together, watch stacks of videos. We even share our bedside reading.
But I'm not sure it will go the long haul. Like most rebound relationships, there are some issues we each need to deal with.
I haven't been totally honest with myself as such, but I think I need to start seeing someone else. Don't get me wrong: I just need some space to work things out – alone. And yes, maybe with someone else.
If I were to face myself now, and be brutally frank, I'd say that I think maybe we should cool things off a bit. We can still see each other, but I think we'd both do well to also get out a bit and meet other people.
I don't know how I'll take it. I'm not good with rejection. Maybe I'm just too needy.
But then, perhaps I'm right. Perhaps I'm not everything I want in a relationship.
I know I'm not perfect, but I guess I'm just still in love with me.
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