A good financial return on children
Shareholders of Child-2 will certainly be celebrating tonight.
After 13 months with no yield on their hefty investment, they can turn to their detractors with more than a little validation. Some industry commentators might say that this is a small yield. But in this very unstable economic environment, it's a significant outcome. To recap the day's events, at precisely 10.02am, one of the two company directors, Ben Zipper, confirmed his intention to take out the rubbish. There was no comment from Mr Zipper at the time, but this afternoon his Corporate Affairs department released a statement saying, “It started off like any other business-as-usual advance to the bins outside, with no real expectation of a return.” Business-as-usual perhaps, but it still carried its own risks. According to Joe Meachen, of TradeWide.com.au, there was real concern that the dog could get through the front gate. Worse, though, BZ-PH-2 might have fallen over during the exercise, eaten some Lego or simply burst into tears. To everyone's surprise, Child-2 turned to Mr Zipper and asked, “Help, Daddy?” Words can pack a punch on the trading floor, but at the operational level it's actions that pay the bills. At exactly 10.04, Child-2 walked towards the door and picked up an empty milk carton ready for the recycling bin outside. Successfully, she then deposited the item in the correct bin, albeit with some hefty encouragement from Mr Zipper. The deed done, both Mr Zipper and Child-2 returned to the house and closed the front door, securing the transaction. In a statement straight from the director's office, Mr Zipper said that “investors will be pleased to note a strong return from today's activities on the floor”. The news comes in a day of otherwise meager returns. In other trading news, shareholders of Child-1 (trading as 'I'm Not a Bubbah Anymore') were pleased to see a very small return by way of a slightly cleaner room, an attempt at reading the word 'climbing' and the eating of most sandwiches for school lunch. The day, though, belongs to Child-2. Trading as 'The Bubbah', she has certainly given key non-voting investors – especially the grandparents – something to smile about tonight. |
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