A car mechanic worked my gender 15 Mar 2017
Took some serious panel beating to make a girl out of me.
The sign above the rusty roller-door said ‘Auto Trans’. It clearly wasn’t a typical mechanic.
I walked in and was immediately met by a tall, sweaty guy in overalls.
“G’day,” he said, reaching out a greasy hand.
I introduced myself. He said he was Gary.
“Oh yeah, you’re the one who called,” he said. “So you want a full change?”
I was a little taken back at his bluntness, but I’d heard these mechanics can be straight to the point.
“I guess,” I replied, “I’d really just like some feminising of the skin. Maybe a little fat redistribution.”
“Paint job? Body works eh?” he said. “How lovely you want to be? Button nose? Wide eyes? High cheekbones?”
“Umm … ehh,” I stuttered.
“Might be able to start on Tuesdee,” he continued. “Would need to order in some adipose fat. Busy time of year mate.”
“I guess I’d also like … breasts,” I said with a quiet voice.
“No worries mate,” he replied. “What size you after?”
“Umm … maybe B to C cup.”
“Oww,” he said, sucking air between his thin, dry lips. “Bs to Cs. Dunno mate. Like I said, busy time of year. Might have something in an old model.”
He turned around and yelled out into the garage. “Hey John, got any Bs to Cs?”
A husky male voice yelled back: “Nah mate. Just sold the last pair to a trans-lady yesterday.”
Gary turned back to me. “Sorry mate. Would have to order them in. A-cups I can do. Quite popular. Could even sell you a nice D. Just came in. European model. Quality.”
I shook my head.
“Umm, can you also do hips?” I asked tenderly.
“Oww, now that’s getting into some serious panel work. Have to get you up on the hoist.”
I wasn’t sure about that.
“Parts are where the costs are mate,” he continued. “And labour of course. Just placed an order for hips. If you’d come by yesterdee … Now you’d be waiting til at least next Thursday.”
I suddenly wasn’t sure. Parts, hoists – it all seemed too much. But I had little time to reflect.
“So that’s the chassis. What about the engine block?”
I must have looked utterly confused.
“You know. Nuts and bolts. You looking to trade? Not really needing too many penises and testacies, but I could take them off your hands. Ten percent off reconditioned vulva. Just came in. Vagina runs good as new. Of course it depends on what you’re trading. I’d have to check the pistons.”
I heard of these trade-ins. I just wasn’t sure that I wanted a vagina.
“Let’s just do the face, hips and breasts,” I said with confidence.
Gary smiled. “No worries mate. But like I said, couldn’t fit you till Wednesday."
Okay, I thought; Wednesday it is.
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